Whether it’s the birdsong at daybreak (dawn chorus) or the postman’s whistling, creatures and humans find ways to communicate with each other.  I accept that not all humans find conversation easy or want to know their new postman’s name, although trust me the benefits are astonishing.  A smile is matched with a smile and a wave with a wave but that’s not all – packets and parcels are carefully hidden in the hedges.  And you’ll know already how the blackbirds and the robins make me smile.

We’re staying away from home for a few days at a country club/hotel.  Quite different from the expected summer retreat and sunshine I had in mind.  It’s supposed to be summer, but then it’s Wimbledon fortnight, and that usually means rain.  Gosh I’m sounding unusually negative in my quest to set the scene for this piece on the power of conversation.

I’m typing this with sociable chatter in the background.  Conversations about cancer and colonoscopies, merging with advice for Gareth Southgate and new arrivals at Sweaty Betty.  Whatever the topics or tennis scores, people are milling around and keeping each other company.  No emailing each other about their failing health, they’re out there being active and engaging in the topic of the moment.  Asking questions and (hopefully) listening to the responses, although I have a few doubts!

Conversation can be such a powerful tool in understanding and influencing others’ points of view.  An offshoot to my recent soapbox moments, conversations are a helpful antidote to “ghosting” and recruitment “black holes”, not to mention getting to know people and what they’re about.  Spurred on by how a recruiter engaged with a candidate recently, I’m recommending that we all get better at “in the moment” two-way communication.  To explain my point; while I’m a big fan of automated appointment scheduling options, they don’t really help to build relationships.

No need to breach confidentiality when explaining that a recruiter abruptly (and prematurely) concluded a candidate interview (for a very senior role).  A rushed conclusion to the meeting and a request to give written answers to remaining questions did nothing to build confidence in the emerging (and fragile) relationship.  Hardly surprising that the candidate wondered whether the recruiter was serious about their interest.

I had a similar experience recently in quite a different circumstance.  A telephone call to a business requesting an (informed) conversation about my mum’s gas meter cupboard.  The resulting email didn’t answer my query, how could it, I hadn’t explained my challenge?  It took several more emails, telephone messages and pure determination to engage the business in a conversation.  Give me a call if you’d like to chat about 2022 gas safety regulations and communal meter cupboards.

Written answers to recruiter interview questions, and emails about gas meters – two different scenarios yet both prove the omissions of one-sided communication.  The lack of interaction set back the relationship with the recruiter and significantly slowed down my progress in understanding gas safety legislation.

A Linked In post by Joanna Parsons, CEO of The Curious Route caught my eye recently.  For me it highlighted the best and the worst of an organisation’s internal communications channels.  Multiple self-serve opportunities to gain information or requests for action, yet few opportunities for engagement or discussion in real time.  Takes me back to a piece I wrote in 2019, The Office Kitchen – it’s where the magic happens

Topical as ever, I’m reflecting on how PMs question time is still so popular.  I agree that it’s steeped in (sometimes unnecessary) tradition and theatre although I don’t see any politicians willing to give up their moments of glory.  That aside, it provides opportunities for lively, topical debate and insight, not to mention reassurance and accountability.

Here are my top tips for creating credible conversations:

• First things first, remember to say “hi” or “hello”

• Make it personal and introduce yourself (remember to smile, even during phone exchanges)

• Observe courtesy; clearly Brian May didn’t want to chat to David Coulthard at Silverstone last Sunday

• “How can I help?” is always a good opening strategy

• When asking questions, pause for a response / allow thinking time

• Demonstrate you’re listening (not waiting for your turn to speak)

• Be curious, encourage contribution, show interest

I’ll leave you with my email sign off, “If something needs to change or you need a fresh approach, beginning the conversation is the most difficult thing you’ll need to do … let’s get networking” …. Let’s chat about how I can help